Ask A Sex Goddess

By Sex Goddess, November 27, 2007

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This week: 'I want to have an affair.'

I want to have an affair.

I am unsatisfied in my relationship in terms of the sexual part, but I love my husband. I don't want to change him, and I don't want to end my marriage, but I need to be satisfied. I fantasize about every man and some women who come around. I'm only 24, we've been together since high school and married since I was 20 and I just need more. I know it's out there. I would love advice from a sex goddess on how to start an affair, how to be appealing, where to meet folks my age who could understand my situation. No judgment needed, just guidance.

Horny Housewife?

Dear Horny,

No judgment here but -- the first step to having a successful affair is to not have one! Seriously, it might be amazing and fun, but affairs are rarely deep enough to respond to fundamental needs like yours. You love your husband, so you need to work with him on the solution to your needs not being met. Together you can come up with a strategy, if you let love be your guide ... opening up the relationship, toys, a sex retreat, etc.

If you absolutely want the short-term solution, it's easy. Go shopping until you find something that you feel makes you look fantastic, wear it to a hotel or airport bar and order a drink. Then talk to people of any gender that look good to you, until there's a shiver in your shalala.

Good luck!
SG

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Do you have a question? Email SG at SexAndRelationships@WireTapMag.org.

Rules:

1. I hate rules!
2. There are no stupid questions, only stupid hang-ups.
3. Pleasure came before political correctness, and so should you!
4. Love yourself first.

Who: Who I am is unimportant. I do, however, enjoy sex, dally in various relationships, and on top of that I am an organizer by trade, or perhaps faith. I declare here and now that I know as much as anyone about sex and relationships -- which is roughly nothing and everything.

Why: Organizers, activists, change makers, closet progressives -- people trying to save the world often have a hard time figuring out how to ... do it. Whatever it might be at the moment -- love, dominate, submit, indulge, deny, give, take, fight, let go, wonder, know. I secretly suspect that if everyone were able to find the freedom to really love and please themselves (not to mention each other), the world would be a much more peaceful place.

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