Bois2Men

Posted by Young Boi at 12:00 AM | Comment Now | Permalink

(Ed's note: This post originally appeared at Grits & Eggs)

Lately, all my bois have started becoming men. In the last few months, four of my closest trans brothers have started their physical transition — through femate-to-make top surgery and testosterone treatment or T. And I'm happy for them. Truly. But as half of me reaches out with open arms and congratulatory remarks, I feel the other half slowly backing out the door.

Why?

Well, I've come to realize that the reasoning involves a touch of jealousy, a bit of alienation, and a whole lot of fear.

Of course there's a part of me that yearns to be them — that wishes that my transition could just as easily include or disregard the rest of my immediate family. And clearly, it's difficult to find myself alone; The guys with whom I shared that scary process of self-unfoldment and coming out now swap stories about hormone shots and post-op delights to which I just can't relate.

But mostly, it's fear. I'm afraid of where our FTM (female-to-male transgender) community is right now. I'm afraid of the casualty with which young guys start hormones and schedule surgery. I'm afraid of how those conversations parallel those around body piercings and new tattoos.

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